Conversation that made me Cringe

The names of the people involved in this conversation have been changed to protect the innocent.

While minding my own business today, I overheard a woman talking on her cellphone. Because I am nosy, and was not going anywhere at the moment, I listened in. This is what I heard:

'Hi. I am staying at your hotel in Fort Lauderdale soon and I was wondering what type of beds are in my room. A queen or two doubles? Ok thats great. I'll take the two doubles. Do you have rollaways available? Ok. Is there a fee? How much? Alright. Great. Thank you so much for your help. What was your name? Carlos? Ok, well muchas gracias, Carlos.'

Muchas gracias? It was fairly apparent from the flow of the conversation that Carlos spoke English pretty well. And it was very obvious that this woman wasn't hispanic and did not speak Spanish. 'Mooch-ass grassy-ass' was what it sounded like. I wanted to bang my head against the wall a la Carolyn upon hearing that. And the sad part is that this woman probably had the best intentions and thought she was making Carlos comfortable by relating to him.

I wonder if Carlos found this amusing or if he is going to make sure to give her a room with a lovely view of the dumpster.

From BD to BFF

Since I last posted BD (bad date) has practically become my new best friend. (Yeah, I am still a little unsure how I pulled that one off too.) The short of it is that after telling me he didn't think we would 'date well' - I know - ouch, we agreed that we got along alright, hung out both nights this weekend, and have been in pretty close contact this week.

Overall, the weekend was pretty amusing, but I don't think I can do the whole thing justice, and since you probably don't have the patience to read all about it, I will just shoot for an excerpt - Friday night. After partying for a few hours downtown, my friend Elle and I ended up meeting up with BD and his roommate late Friday night/early Saturday morning at a club. They had also been drinking for a while. Hilarity ensued. (See, I am so right that alcohol needs to be involved a little bit when first getting to know someone). It was pretty close to last call by the time we got there, so we were only in the club for a half an hour or so. Just long enough for introductions, boring background questions and a more interesting debate about the appropriateness of one friend sticking his hand down another friend's pants to find out what type of underwear she was wearing. (Ok, so the discussion didn't actually happen until after the incident had taken place.)

After the club closed, we hung outside for a bit watching the tourist family that had multiple children under the age of five out and about at 2:30 am. (Appalling, but unfortunately not all that surprising here.) Elle then agreed to drive BD and roomie to the resort they were staying at in a nearby town, despite the boys insisting they could hitchhike their way home from anywhere. This knack for being able to hitchhike was mentioned so many times during the ride that at one point I think Elle seriously considered dropping them off on the side of the road to let them fend for themselves. Fortunately for them, it was very foggy out and I think she would've felt bad abandoning them on the highway in low visibility weather. Not long into the ride BD fell asleep, but not before he discovered Elle's fuzzy scarf and amused himself by wrapping it around the rest of us, including the driver, which I pointed out, was very dangerous. (After a few drinks I sometimes become Safety Syrah. This is a beneficial trait when you have a college roommate who is prone to accidentally lighting your house on fire.) Another dangerous moment was when roomie reached from the back seat over Elle's head and tried to prove that she had radio controls on her steering wheel. She didn't, which is what she had said when he asked her. It was amazing that we arrived at the resort in one piece.

At the hotel, the boys offered us a hotel room (complete with a guarantee of not being molested). We declined and said our goodbyes. This time I got both a full-fledged hug and a really hard smack on the ass, while being told, "I said we wouldn't date well together, but that doesn't mean we wouldn't do other things well together." I then decided it was time for me to go home.

The next morning I got a phone call from BD (who thinks this should stand for Big D...yeah) pleading with me to come pick him up and drop him off at his car. I was successfully bribed with the promise of a bagel. The bagel gets me every time.

She shoots, she falls flat on her face, and misses

Yeah, so what I said in that last post about being on fire? I'm not. I am definitely, definitely not. Had first blind date ever tonight. What an awkward, awkward disaster. And he was a nice guy. And there was potential. And we had a lot of chemistry on the phone. But I was really nervous. And I did not bring my 'A' game at all.

Highlights of the evening:

1. I meet him at his place. He is outside when I pull up. He's cute. As I am walking towards him from my car I trip and stumble over the cement parking block. Grace. I am so full of grace that I should have been a dancer. Ugh. Try to laugh it off, but feel like a moron.

2. We go get coffee. He buys my coffee, but I don't realize this, so after he walks away from the cashier I am still standing there and she is looking at me like I have three heads. After a seemingly long moment he is like, 'Come here.' Try to laugh it off, but yet again feel like a moron and haven't even known this guy for 15 minutes.

3. We watch TV at his place. He is fast forwarding through commercials and my stomach is growling. Loudly. It is like 10:00pm and I haven't eaten since I had a salad for lunch. Feel like a moron. Need to get the fusk out of there, quick. Decide it is time to leave, which brings us to

4. The good-bye. I got a one-armed hug. Yup. That's it. So awkward. So terrible.

First dates need a bit of alcohol involved. Not necessarily a lot, but a little bit would've gone a long way I think.

I need to go to bed and forget that this happened.

The Stars are Aligned and I'm on Fire

For a little over a year I have been regularly reading In Style magazine. I never got into it back in the days of borrowed po magazines, I think because we usually had too many choices lying around the house - People, US Weekly, Time - and at the time I was trying to read The Economist from cover to cover, which as we now know, was a fruitless attempt to be a fed.

Anyway, I allow myself to buy In Style as a treat for going to the gym and I only let myself read it while working out (usually on the elliptical, but I have become pretty adept at reading while on the treadmill too). This provides a great distraction while on the machines so that I don't just focus on the clock, and gives me some time to catch up on fashiony stuff and mindless celebrity stuff, which I enjoy. The magazines last about two weeks worth of workouts and then I move on to Conde Nast Traveler.

So, point of the post. I had a really odd day yesterday, so I decided to take a look back at what IS was predicting for me this month. I have never really paid attention to this before, but after reading it, I think I am a believer. The January IS issue has my horoscope as this:

Virgo (aug 23 - sept 22)
The holiday parties may be over, but Virgos take a bit longer to slip back into work mode. (true, I have been completely unable to focus) A new romance may be about to happen (this is important, remember this); look sharp at all times, even when standing in the checkout line. (Good thing I am naturally sharp looking) Expect a social event around the 15th (loads of family came to town), based on an obligation you need to fulfill (maybe a fund-raiser or wedding) (nope, it was visiting the Hawaiian-based abuelos). Done nothing about your resolution to drop a few pounds? Start getting fit near the new moon on the 29th. (Already in process.)

Yesterday, like I said, was really odd, but in a good way. I got an email from a certain Captain who I hadn't heard from in almost two weeks. Fine, not that strange. New, boy, who I can't think of a clever nickname for right now, called me after having just been given my number the previous night. We talked for almost two hours. I am going to meet him for coffee tonight. Wish me luck. Got a nice and normal sounding message from a different guy on Friendster. And, this is the kicker, I got an email from the Panamanian Ricky Martin look a like. I have not heard from him since I met him and the last time I emailed him was in November. This stuff never happens to me, at least not all at once like this.

I am feeling a little overwhelmed by boys at the moment. I wish my girls were here to walk me through this. (You know who you are, I would've highlighted you had I been able to figure out how to do it on this new piece).

I think I am going to call Miss Cleo for advice.

My Two Front Teeth

When my Panamama asked me what I wanted for Christmas a few months back, I replied that all I wanted was a Sonicare toothbrush. My dentist had recommended it, and as my pals may attest, I am quite dentally paranoid, so when my dentist says jump, I jump. Unfortunately, I did not want to spend that much money on a toothbrush myself, so I asked la lady Di to get one for me. Well, on December 25th, I unwrapped a box containing my very own Sonicare toothbrush. I was very naive back then about the trauma that this would soon cause me.

The way the soni works is that when it is turned on, it will start to vibrate and every 30 seconds it will beep. The beep is to inform the brusher that it is time to change to a different quadrant of the mouth (inner top, outter top, inner bottom, outter bottom). After two minutes, the soni shuts itself off. The beeping was the first sign that I was going to have problems with this thing. My toothbrushing habits are now ruled by these beeps. I know this is silly, and that I shouldn't feel like a slave to the beeps, but I become completely stressed out that I am not going to thoroughly finish a quadrant before it beeps again. Turning on the soni for another round if it turns off before I finish, does not seem like a viable option. It seems like brushing failure.

I think I have almost conquered the next tramautizing feature of the soni - the vibrations. For the first week I used it I would become extremely nauseas when brushing the outter top quadrant of my mouth. The sensation was so strange that I honestly felt like I was going to hurl all over my bathroom. I don't notice this sensation as much anymore, but I think that is because I have become so distracted by trying to outwit the beeps and the following (and thank goodness, final) traumatizing part of using the soni...

Around the time I stopped feeling vomitous, I realized that I felt awfully lightheaded when I was done brushing. After a bit of investigation I came to the conclusion that while brushing I inadvertantly forget to breathe. I don't know why (again is this because I am focusing on those beeps?), and am not sure how to naturally resume intake of oxygen through my nose during those two minutes, but for now I have to keep reminding myself to breathe while I brush.

So, although my mouth feels extra clean, is this worth the stress, nausea and lack of oxygen I experience every am and pm?
Why isn't flossing good enough?