Wtf?/Wtfai?

Business first: Which one of you wankers* called me at 1:00am my time this morning? I know it was an out-of-country call because the number didn't show up. Now, I love being called at 1:00am (really. I might not be super responsive, but I like the attention) but it drives me absolutely crazy that you did not leave a message. I hate that. Why wake me up, make me try to find my phone, and not even leave me a clue as to who you are?

*My new Australian friend uses that word and I really like it. Because I don't have the accent, I can't actually say it outloud without sounding dumb, but it works if I write it.

Anyway, a former high school crush (and current friend & reader) - I bet that (the whole high school crush part) just made him blush, by the way - recently sent me a really nice 'hey i was thinking about you & hope everything is alright' card. In it, he mentioned the wtf?/wtfai? aspect of living in a different country. If you don't know what I am talking about, wtf = what the f*ck? wtfai = where the f*ck am I?

When I first got here I had these moments pretty much every few hours. These experiences can be positive, negative, or just plain perplexing. Here are a few examples of some good ones:

Perplexing: My boss ordered a baked potato at a restaurant, but asked them to hold the sour cream. The waiter's reaction? "No." He had to serve it with sour cream. That was all there was to it. (Even though my boss asked if they were all pre-made & the waiter said they weren't.)

They aircondition this strip of bars near the river called Clarke Quay. It's all outdoors. There is no ceiling, just these ginormous airconditioning units connected to a translucent tarp-like thingy about 30 feet up that covers the walkways. Very surreal.

You get two receipts everytime you buy something with a credit card. And you have to sign both your copies and the copies you give them. It feels like a major transaction everytime.

"Two for One" is called "one for one" here. As in, buy one and they will give you one more. So, two for one here would mean you would end up with three.

Negative: They show some TV show starring Fran Drescher here. It's not the Nanny (speaking of h.s. crushes, bean); it's some recent show where Fran is engaged to this 25-yr old guy & is trying to raise her own older teen kids. It's terrible.

Skim milk is nonexistant. So are salad dressing choices. Your options are vinaigrette or a thick mayo-tasting dressing. The biggest promotion on all the commercials for McDonald's right now is for a sandwich called the Beef or Chicken McFantastic. As far as I can tell, it is a slab of beef (or chicken) in between two patties made of rice. It looks disgusting.

Positive: The best wtf/wtfai moment I have had so far was when my boss came up to me the other day and told me to make travel arrangements because I am going to Phuket, Thailand for the weekend! It's a work trip, which basically means, "check the place out so that you can tell everyone how amazing it is." I am really really excited. Wtfai that I get to go to Thailand and hang out on the beach for work? I am never going to quit my job.