First Date Commentary

I know that he hasn't been mentioned in quite a while, but Boyfriend T is still in my life. He actually never quite made it to the boyfriend level, but he and I have become pretty good friends since we met several months ago. Although it may be inaccurate, I am going to continue to refer to him as Boyfriend T, mostly because it has a better ring to it than Friend T. Anyway, to make a long story short, he has a blog that he told me about, but didn't know I read. (BFT - I will link to it with your permission.) And he never explicitly gave me the address. Anyway, last week I was reading it and I noticed that he had a post about all of the first dates he had been on in the past year. Most of them were horror stories so I was a little bit nervous that I was going to be included with some comment about how I had begun calling him Boyfriend T before I had even met him. Well, he did mention our date, but that isn't quite what he said...

"6. American 1.5: Actually this was a good first date, and even a good second date….but the chemistry wasn’t there, and now we are ‘just friends’, which magically worked out because we are actually just friends. She is in Dubai at the moment and I can’t wait to chat with her when she gets back."

When I read this, I had one of those incredibly girly moments where I think I actually said "Awwwww" out loud in my office. (uh, I mean, not that I would ever ever ever surf the net on the company's dime.) That blurb totally made my day. So, ladies, there is an incredibly great available nice Jewish boy out here who you should meet. Did I mention that he is trained in massage therapy? And that he has an incredibly big...vocabulary? (C'mon now, get your minds out of the gutter.) He likes tall girls. And he doesn't know that I am posting this, so don't think he is trying to get me to find him a woman.

P.S. Ultra-conservatives or republicans need not apply.

The Leaving is the Hardest Part

The expat population of Singapore, and probably a lot of countries, is a very transient one. People are generally here for a predetermined amount of time. Often this timeframe is determined by an employment contract, but sometimes it is a personal limit the expat has set for him/herself. For example, although I didn't sign a contract when i accepted my position here, I figured I would only spend around 2 years abroad before I moved back to the U.S. It just seemed like that would be a good amount of time for me to gain some experience, save some money, and not be away from home for too long.

The nice thing about the transiency of the expat community is that it is ever-changing. There are always new people arriving into town. This is refreshing on a small island, because you will never run out of new people to meet. On the other hand, what this also means is that there are always people leaving. The more time you spend here, the more people leave you. I hadn't realized the implications of this until I had been here for a little while and people began to leave. First, Linzuf moved back stateside at the beginning of the year. That sucked. Big time. I still miss her very much and wish she was here to run around s'pore with me. Then, a few weeks ago, both the Texan and a friend (with whom I had been hanging out with more often recently) moved to the U.S. And again, that was terrible. I miss the Texan more than I expected and wish the other friend was still here because he was a good addition to my life and made one of my other friends (the Token Aussie) very happy.

Now, keep in mind, none of these have been a suprise. All of these people knew when they were scheduled to leave so it wasn't as though they just decided to up and go one day. But, if you know me, you may be aware that one of my...quirks, I guess you could say, is that I hate feeling like I am missing out on things. I hate feeling left out. It sounds silly, but I really like to be included in things and get bummed when people have fun without me. I mean, I am happy for my friends that they have had a great time, but I always wish that I was there to share it with them. So, I really become emotionally affected by people leaving. I don't like being left behind, which is what this feels like. It kind of is like I think I have missed the boat, or more appropriately, missed the plane.

I've come to the conclusion that I just need to adjust to the fact that this is going to happen repeatedly and often while I am here. I consider myself fortunate because I still have great friends around and am continuing to meet new people all the time. They obviously can't replace the ones who have left, but it does soothe the pain. And well, I guess the fact that one of these new people has the longest eyelashes I have ever seen on a guy and the best sense of humor isn't too shabby...