The Leaving is the Hardest Part

The expat population of Singapore, and probably a lot of countries, is a very transient one. People are generally here for a predetermined amount of time. Often this timeframe is determined by an employment contract, but sometimes it is a personal limit the expat has set for him/herself. For example, although I didn't sign a contract when i accepted my position here, I figured I would only spend around 2 years abroad before I moved back to the U.S. It just seemed like that would be a good amount of time for me to gain some experience, save some money, and not be away from home for too long.

The nice thing about the transiency of the expat community is that it is ever-changing. There are always new people arriving into town. This is refreshing on a small island, because you will never run out of new people to meet. On the other hand, what this also means is that there are always people leaving. The more time you spend here, the more people leave you. I hadn't realized the implications of this until I had been here for a little while and people began to leave. First, Linzuf moved back stateside at the beginning of the year. That sucked. Big time. I still miss her very much and wish she was here to run around s'pore with me. Then, a few weeks ago, both the Texan and a friend (with whom I had been hanging out with more often recently) moved to the U.S. And again, that was terrible. I miss the Texan more than I expected and wish the other friend was still here because he was a good addition to my life and made one of my other friends (the Token Aussie) very happy.

Now, keep in mind, none of these have been a suprise. All of these people knew when they were scheduled to leave so it wasn't as though they just decided to up and go one day. But, if you know me, you may be aware that one of my...quirks, I guess you could say, is that I hate feeling like I am missing out on things. I hate feeling left out. It sounds silly, but I really like to be included in things and get bummed when people have fun without me. I mean, I am happy for my friends that they have had a great time, but I always wish that I was there to share it with them. So, I really become emotionally affected by people leaving. I don't like being left behind, which is what this feels like. It kind of is like I think I have missed the boat, or more appropriately, missed the plane.

I've come to the conclusion that I just need to adjust to the fact that this is going to happen repeatedly and often while I am here. I consider myself fortunate because I still have great friends around and am continuing to meet new people all the time. They obviously can't replace the ones who have left, but it does soothe the pain. And well, I guess the fact that one of these new people has the longest eyelashes I have ever seen on a guy and the best sense of humor isn't too shabby...